Mindful Connecting to Self and Other

I pause. I bring my attention inwards. I connect with that place in me where I experience peace and stillness. I feel centered and together. It’s silent there. No noise from likes and dislikes, attachments to ideas, beliefs or anxieties. No feelings, bad or good, just a sense of contentment, of completeness and clarity. I move forward in life.

I move forward in life anyway! We all do!

But often we do it while operating out of a part of ourselves, wounded aspects perhaps. Very often, we live for long periods of our lives enmeshed with aspects of ourselves, quite unknowingly.Self- and Other-Reflection

I’ve recently spent many days operating out of a part of myself that feels powerless, incompetent and rather paralyzed. It has felt like my circumstances, my own body and emotions were bigger that I am. I remembered to pause (finally!).

I acknowledged the power of my conditioning and re-committed to the practices that ground me, to some routine aspects of my life that get thrown off at these times. And I turned to others for support. I cannot and choose not to fight my battles alone. I luxuriate in the support of my sisters, friends and professionals.

Staying attuned to ourselves, staying connected to others!

PAUSE to reflect on this for a moment:

Do you recognize the sense of truly feeling connected to yourself, to that part of you that is detached from your experiences, emotions, and circumstances? Perhaps this is what Buddhism refers to as the experience the self-non-self. It is also referred to as the true self, the larger self, self in presence, or, consciousness. While one may grow in relationship to this place through meditation and silence, retreats, and perhaps in crises. Access to this place is always available to us, no matter where we are. People find activities like mindfulness practices, meditation, yoga, prayer, walks in nature, dance and journaling helpful to this end.

Who supports you in staying connected to yourself? Who reminds you to turn inwards when you feel you are losing your center, when you feel off balance? Be it friends or professionals, take time to sense who you’d like to have on your team. We can choose friends who make us feel good and loved, and we can choose friends who do that while reminding us to go inwards to connect with our strength and peace and wisdom.

Ask your friends to encourage you to tune inwards when you appear to be off balance, distraught or overwhelmed. Let them know how best you can hear their kind reminders, so they don’t sound like paternalistic, critical or judgmental voices to you. Show them how you want to be loved. These are probably the best friends you’ll ever have!

9 thoughts on “Mindful Connecting to Self and Other”

  1. Joya, I love this blog!! Thank you for creating this space. I hope you are able to find the time to post again. Dave and I are so happy that we have crossed paths with you. Looking forward to the focusing training.

    What struck me most about this particular post is that many of us want to either fix ourselves or offer fixing solutions to others. The best gift is to acknowledge that each of us has the answers within if we remember to pause, go within and ask for guidance. This is the best advice for ourselves as well as the best way to offer support for others.

    At this time in my life, I’m building a new supportive team and educating my current friends and family on what it means to be truly supportive. As I learn what works best for my growth and support, I can offer the same to my friends and family.

    Now back to my garden for some peace and serenity. When I’m spinning out of control at work, I can pause and meditate in my inner garden.


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